How I Sold My Soul…


Here’s the thing, my youngest loves to dance. When she stands on stage, she smiles and a light comes from within. And, you see God because she is joy in that moment, pure joy.

I will do anything to make sure she can dance, just so I can see glimpses of God.

So, when she asked to try out for an extra show this year, I said yes.

I will drive you to extra dance practices.

I will pay the extra money.

I will make it work in our overly busy schedule.


The show, it turns out, is a sacred dance show.

She is dancing the story of God.



On the flip side, when I consider someone or something overly aggressive, meaning when I see joy and fairness being compromised, I steer clear.

This includes the places I shop.  So, if I believe a retailer is trying to, say, take over the industry and bully out their competition.

If I have to spend too much time on the phone with customer service to get something fixed on an order.

If I believe I really am not getting a fair price because I didn’t shop on a Tuesday with the secret handshake or use the word “Buttercup17,” then you might loose me as a customer forever.

Honestly, the list of these retailers is short for me, but authenticity, fairness, and joy in a retail environment matters to me.


You see, dear reader, I have a problem with Amazon Prime.

Maybe it is from reading the Percy Jackson series.

Maybe it is how wrong I find the idea that when I type in my information and when my husband sitting next to me types in his, we get different prices on the same item.

Maybe it is the fact that I don’t believe you should have a shipping service for customers where if you pay $100 per year you get products in 2 days and if you don’t pay $100 per year, you can have your stuff in 3 weeks. Especially considering there is a distribution center 5 miles from my house. I could walk there and walk home faster than it takes me to get anything from Amazon without Prime.

The entire thing baffles me.   Yet Prime is a religion.   The magical idea of being able to get avocados from Whole Foods through Alexia as superior to a regular organic avocado from a regular store defies my logic.


But. I digress. Back to dancing and my daughter…


(the little one as she began dancing.  she has always loved it!)


In August, I am told as part of the finale of the dance show, all the girls will dance in the wedding scene. My daughter will need a knee length, danceable, white dress. I should, I’m told, search online for an appropriate option. I am told Amazon is a good place to go. It will be easy, I’m told.

I hold my tongue.

As my daughter learns her part in the creation scene, as Eve as she is brought into the world as a beloved daughter, I begin my search. In the wedding scene, where the modern day Eve marries her path to Jesus’ path and finds freedom, my daughter will dance around Eve in her own white dress showing her own journey to freedom. It sounds so beautiful just to write it. It turns out, I am finding it less beautiful to live out the finding of the dress.

Because you know those things you do for your kids that should be easy?

Those things that should take very little time, but instead end up sucking up hours upon hours upon hours?

The dress should have been the former; but would be the latter.

After too many hours on my computer, I ordered a dress. I checked, and double checked the measurements since the dress was coming from China. It arrived after two weeks. Apparently, though, in China inches do not convert correctly. The dress was three inches too short. Fail. Also, the dress was unreturnable.   Another 14 hours later, searching for an appropriate dresses, I begin to wonder how beautiful the wedding scene will be if my daughter is naked on the stage.

So back on Amazon I go (yes, I tried other sites). I found what I thought was the perfect dress, and this one allows returns! Perfect! I type in the size and color needed, go to click order, and what is this? I need to be an Amazon Prime member to order THIS dress.

Not a member. Don’t believe in Prime.

I thought long and hard about taking a stand. This is not right. Nobody should be forced to be a Prime member to get the goods they need. This speaks even clearer to why I hate Prime.

But my daughter needs this dress.

To dance.

To shine her light.

Will I compromise my principles?


In the end, I sold my soul to the devil

and became an Amazon Prime member

for 29 days

to get my daughter her dress

so she can dance for Jesus.


And I preordered Wonder Woman while I was at it

because she will need strong woman figures now that I have fallen.


Maybe I will end up on the bandwagon after all…

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