Do I Wish It All Away?

Just a tiny recap…

 

The Superb Owl (or the big game) just finished here in Minnesota. Apparently it was the coldest on record. Welcome to the Savage North. We don’t mess around with weather. Now the whole world knows just how cold we can get up here in the forgotten fly over states. The real reason for Sorel’s and hand warmers is now crystal clear.

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cc – 2018 Super Bowl LII  – Stage on Nicollet Mall by Tony Webster

It is also my daughter’s birthday this month. We celebrate birthdays in months, not days or even weeks. Our family requires multiple celebrations because we put the “fun” in dysfunction. #Lovewins (but not always)

 

The groundhog predicted six more weeks of winter, EVERY FUCKING YEAR with you ground hog. I am done with winter. We may be hearty here in the Savage North, but it does grate on our last nerve starting on January 49th when the temperature is still -20 degrees.

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Here is how you can tell a true Minnesotan from all the visitors to our fine state. Yesterday, it was -20 degrees AGAIN. The sun was bright and the roads were clear. People would greet each other with, “It sure is cold, but the sun’s out. And the days are getting longer.  It won’t be long now and spring will be here.” Minnesotans always look at the positive when it comes to weather. My face may have just frozen off, but the sun is out. I cannot feel that sun since I am wearing so many clothes, no skin is actually exposed, but I know the sun is out there and it helps just knowing that fact. We also have over 12 hours of daylight now, so I see sun when I leave work, and that also helps. We don’t eat dinner in darkness anymore, yeah! So much to celebrate this time of year!

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What else can we celebrate? Life is full of stages, right? Winter turns to spring which turns to summer which turns to fall. Babies grow into toddlers and then into preschoolers and then into elementary age children and so on. The sun rises each day giving this beautiful red and purple sky, only to rise high and bright and to fall again, giving off a red and orange glow. Cycles and circles to everything we encounter as time passes and we flow through life.

 

Yet how often do we just want to skip ahead? Is it lunchtime yet? I cannot wait for tomorrow! If only I was older. If only my baby was a toddler and could walk. If only my preschooler was in kindergarten already and I had a few hours to myself. I cannot wait until I don’t need a babysitter anymore, or don’t need diapers anymore, or the kids are out of the house, or for when we are on vacation…

 

I don’t necessarily think looking ahead is bad. I am often excited for what comes next; wanting to embrace change and the adventure that life brings. But I also believe life is lived in the moments of everyday life, in the struggles and the celebrations of little things; in chocolate chip cookies and dandelion bouquets.

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SONY DSC

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My three are each in the middle of a transition right now. Each one is experiencing a different set of emotions. We have so many emotions in our home right now, I am often exhausted by lunchtime. As a mom, it is sometimes hard to know when to be brave for my children and when to let them be brave for themselves on these roads from one stage to the next. For change brings such grief and sorrow, as well as excitement and discovery and children often don’t know what to do with all those feelings. Will they benefit from a bit of borrowed courage OR be better off with a deep dig to find courage within them?

 

It would be easy for me to wish us ahead; to want to be past the tough transitions and these tough emotions. Especially when I am doing it times three! Honestly I am not sure I am strong enough to watch the heartbreak that happens as they struggle with what is not easy, or not fair. Bullies and leaving friends behind and walking alone for a time and asking for help and learning to believe in yourself when others don’t, all if it is hard stuff.   All of these stages and issues are part of life; part of growing up, but part of me also wants to shield them from all the painful parts.

 

Deep down I get I can’t. Deep down I know it is for the best.

 

But it is winter and the effing ground hog just sentenced us to six more weeks. Everything seems harder when we are buried in ice and snow. We may be hearty Minnesotans, optimists when it comes to weather; but, damn, maybe we could just skip ahead to March already?

 

Just a teeny tiny time hop? Just a little warmer outside? Spring break maybe?

I think that would help everyone.

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