You wake to spring like temperatures, finally. Winter has been long, too long. So you get out and run your errands. In a neighborhood near an elementary school, you spot a parent walking home just after school drop off. You watch him slowly make his way along the sidewalk holding the hand of a young child. The child holds, in the opposite hand, a stuffed rabbit, swinging to and fro.
Every part of you brakes into a million pieces. You want to go back in time.
You did not get a true spring break this year because your oldest attends classes at the local college in addition to his high school classes. You use the time to practice his driving. He will be sixteen very soon. It occurs to you all of life’s most important lessons translate from the passenger seat of the car with a 15 year old. Forget everything being taught in kindergarten.
First of all, he teaches you, who needs gentle transitions? When life offers a lane change just go for it! See an opening, no need to move over with grace or ease. Just go…go now. Claim your space.
You can learn a lot from this. You let fear whisper your ear, “Slow down. Not yet. Take it easy. It’s not your turn.” But really, why listen to fear? Isn’t it better to just jump in?
Why not live a little more on the edge…edge of the lane, edge of someone’s bumper, edge of the curb? Why stay far from the edge when you can use the fullness of your lane? All the way to that edge.
And why stop before you need to? Go full speed until the very last moment. Give it all you’ve got. The breaks are there for a reason. Use your resources.
“I mean, come on Mom, I’m not going to hit anyone or anything. I’m in control.”
Full speed of course unless you are on the highway. And then that means the speed limit. Even though everyone else is going 10 miles over and they zoom around you.
Be grateful you’ve raised a rule follower, one who doesn’t give in to peer pressure in these moments. You can learn a lot from this. Do what is right, not what everyone else is doing. This is good for you. You need to be reminded of this. But you tell him anyway, “Dear God could you just drive a little faster? Everyone is honking.”
“Mom! Stop. You are making me nervous. I cannot concentrate when I’m nervous. It is better driving with Dad.”
Your baby is driving, your concentration is gone. He should drive with his father. You are certain of this. He is not the only one who is nervous.
Your heart is breaking. Your kids are growing up. It was only yesterday it was your walking down the sidewalk with you baby and his animal swinging in his hand. Change is hard.
Fear whispers…slow down…not yet…take it easy…
Faster they go.
No easy transitions.
These lessons are not coming fast enough.