I sit most mornings, before the day begins in earnest, with a cup of coffee and my journal. I use scripture to inspire what I write and I spend 60 minutes letting my focus for the day while the sun rises in the East.
First it is black, no light. A thin line of pink appears. On the days I am most lucky, the entire sky is painted in pastels. The golden sun peaks over the horizon washing golden light over everything. Until, finally I am blinded in my chair by the warm risen rays.
I write. I watch.
My kids get ready for school, creeping into the kitchen, dreary eyed.
I sip coffee and think about how big they’ve become.
I write more as ideas pour onto the page. Ideas that become essays. Ideas that become stories.
Today, the light came. The coffee was hot. But, I could not write a cohesive thought.
Today the threads were floating. I would capture one, yet it would slip from my fingers. Then another, also gone before I could get it down onto the paper complete. No threads braiding together into yarn. No yarn becoming cloth. Just threads jumping, dancing in the light.
My windows need to be washed. I cannot see out of them. I need to see. Please let me see. What is the next thing?
Laundry needs to be done.
Why do I keep saying yes to things when I’ve promised myself to take better care, make more room to do the right things?
I should put new sheets on the bed.
Why do I say relationships are important, but I cannot seem to make time for this friend I adore? I need to make more time. I hate to disappoint. Why don’t I have more time for her?
I need to walk the dog. Call the vet.
There are not enough hours in the day. I can’t get it all done. Why can’t I focus on just one thing?
Thoughts dance, jump, twirl. None stay long enough. I cannot write to resolution. I cannot find story ideas. I just make another list of things to do.
Yet I begin the day with:
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. – Galatians 6:9 (NIV)
A clue? Is this my inspiration?
Do good. Don’t give up.
Is all I can do today?
Boots on the ground.
One step in front of the other.
Do the things that help.
Do what I can in the hours I’m given.
Make progress, let the rest go.
Hope that tomorrow the threads stop dancing and weave into yarn.